While numbing or repression as an automatic defence mechanism is necessary for the child’s emotional survival, it is counterproductive in adulthood rendering the adult unamenable to healthy emotional contact. Many relationships have foundered on the rock of this ‘coldness’. It is very understandable that an adult may wish to avoid
Monthly Archives: March 2018
Adults also have insecure attachment types
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Jim
Some adults who have suffered such distress as a child often say they feel they were adopted. How sad is that! It should be mentioned that adults have corresponding attachment or personality types, which are labelled secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant and fearful-avoidant. Research shows that about 40% of adults have insecure
A child’s behaviour can show symptoms of an insecure attachment
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Jim
Attachment types can be seen in a child’s behaviour. Some years ago RTE Television presented a programme on attachment involving a large group of children, who were scrutinised by a psychologist, where the type of attachment of each child was clearly evident. Bowlby divided attachment into three types, secure, fearful
Attachment is crucial in the development of the human
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Jim
The late John Bowlby, one time Director of the children’s department at the Tavistock Clinic, was one of the first to look at fear of abandonment in detail. He proposed the theory of attachment, already briefly mentioned, as a fundamental part of child development. It is underlies fear and all
Fear of abandonment makes it difficult to properly separate from what is familiar
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Jim
The quality of the poem (quoted in the last blog), art or piece of writing is irrelevant. What is important is how you can see your shame, reject it, and find some element of control over it. There is nothing more effective in stifling your creativity and willingness to learn
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