Monthly Archives: June 2018

Hitler a good example of how a childhood can damage us although it does not excuse how we behave.

As you can see from the last blog, many circumstances preventing adequate parenting are simply unavoidable. One of the most familiar cases in my experience is that of having a large family, where parents struggle to find time to meet the needs of their children. Frequently, in such cases clusters

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Emotional or soul wounds inflicted in childhood can run from generation to generation.

Parental failure to meet dependency needs is, in effect, traumatic for the child, and inflicts what is called an emotional or soul wound, which is too painful to experience. The result in teenage years, especially around the age of sixteen, is a severe lack of concentration in school, where the

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Posted in attachment, childhood, childhood hurts
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We must show an interest in our child and show him or her how to do things.

Affection and love needs are obviously closely linked, and all of the dependency needs overlap into a holistic parental behaviour sending out positive messages to your child, which in adult life increases his capacity to give affection and love in the best sense of the word. The third need is

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Give your child as many hugs as possible. You can never hug enough!

Touch is the heart of affection, and that is how you make the child feel a sense of approval, the second need. Alice Miller, the great Polish psychiatrist, advocated that the first year of the child is the most important one. This is the time when the child should be

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Meeting a child’s dependency needs is absolutely vital and has a profound impact on his or her adult life.

If good enough parenting determines the creation of a secure attachment, obviously it is crucial to understand how this happens on a practical basis. In theory this is very easy, although, judging from the extent of attachment problems, it may not always be so simple to do. Good enough parenting

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