It is appalling to think that the jealous person is not capable of properly loving another, but more of attaching to them. This always shocks those who hear it, partly because they are unaware of the internal conflicts of the jealous person. Love is difficult to define, but it certainly involves allowing the other space to develop and socially relate. Love frees us, and takes joy in the freedom of the other. It is about fulfilment by having our intimacy and emotional needs met. Jealous people, with the controlling impulse, operate in the very opposite way, stifling and restricting victims. They only love themselves and expect partners and children to meet their needs, as they view the world from their narcissistic thrones.
In striving to control his partner, the jealous person keeps her in a prison of possessiveness. There is a distinction between jealousy and possessiveness, although Dr Helen Ford, a holistic practitioner working in Stourbridge, puts it well when she writes about possessive jealousy and destructive jealousy. I suppose toxic jealousy is the parent of possessiveness, but for convenience and because they are so intertwined, I will occasionally use them interchangeably here. In my experience, the possessive person is also a jealous person. If jealousy is a destructive feeling, possessiveness is a destructive behaviour driven by it.
THERAPISTS IN TIPPERARY
PSYCHOTHERAPISTS IN TIPPERARY
COUNSELLING TIPPERARY
DEATH OF A CHILD
ABUSE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
FEAR
ANGER
JEALOUSY
SHAME