Blog Archives

Controlling people suffer from other mental health problems

Those who work on programmes in Ireland enjoy the satisfaction of seeing some of the abusive participants change for the better and stop abusing. But, this work can also be frustrating, and facilitators also experience the disappointment of trying to deal with abusive men, who are not willing to change.

Read More…

Posted in abusive personality
Tags:

You can change from being controlling and abusive

You have a choice. You can carry this cancer into old age where it will eat at you until you die, or you can break the pattern that has spread possibly through generations in your family. Unless you decide to do something about it, future generations will be infected, and

Read More…

Posted in changing your abusive behaviour
Tags:

If you have an abusive personality, can you change?

This cancer eats my soul, Even as I grow older. I have not the gift of wisdom, It is not possible. I can give good advice, I can see the problems, I can offer solutions, I am intelligent, But my soul is contaminated, The generosity of my spirit stifled in

Read More…

Posted in abuse, abusive personality
Tags:

Welcoming our distresses is necessary and healing

One of the principal aspects preventing rehabilitation, and possibly forgiveness, is the presence of rage and anger. This anger is justified and must be vented, but, for the sake of our mental health, we must eventually let it go. Some of the techniques mentioned might help, but developing self-empathy is

Read More…

Posted in abuse, Leaving an abusive situation, Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Controlling people pay little regard to court decisions.

Distress is also caused by some abusive partners manipulating the legal process as a means of control over the survivor. Some make excuses to postpone court hearings as a way to control. At one stage, Linda worried that Stephen would use his absence from Ireland as a means of delaying

Read More…

Posted in abuse, Leaving an abusive situation
Tags: ,

Importance of having good professional legal support

As you work your way through your losses, you may also be engaging in the process of legal separation, and counselling will help you make that sometimes long and painful journey. But, despite the reservations already made about the legal process, you will require the assistance of a good family

Read More…

Posted in abuse, Leaving an abusive situation
Tags: ,

There are pros and cons to confronting a person who abused you

There are many relaxation techniques that you might find useful in your repertoire of self-care. These include breathing exercises, stretching, meditation, yoga, guided meditation, mindfulness, prayer, listening to quiet music, and walking in a rural area. I often suggest to distressed people to create a personal space, where they can

Read More…

Posted in abuse, Leaving an abusive situation
Tags: ,

It’s hard to shake old feelings for an abusive ex-partner

Despite her initial reservation about her husband, Linda found herself being drawn into the web again “In the meantime, my mind was playing havoc along with my feelings. I was beginning to ponder over the thought “had he changed,” and had life experiences in travelling changed his perception on things,

Read More…

Posted in abuse, Leaving an abusive situation
Tags: ,

It can shock you when you try to move on but find your feelings for your partner returning

The fourth task of grieving is to emotionally relocate the lost partner and move on. You will reconcile conflicting emotions, realise that you will not forget the relationship experience, good and bad, and experience the relief of leaving an abusive environment and travelling the road to peace and, hopefully, love.

Read More…

Posted in abuse, Leaving an abusive situation
Tags: ,

grieving when an abusive relationship is over

You, too, may have to grieve the loss of a caring partner, and you move on to mourn the loss of self-esteem, of personal integrity, of relationship, of intimacy, of friends, of control, of safety, of personal meaning, of a father/mother to your children. You mourn the loss of your

Read More…

Posted in abuse, Leaving an abusive situation
Tags: ,