Blog Archives

There are nine types of intelligence and we all have our own unique creativity

Before I begin this blog, I would like to send my best wishes to all those people, who read it every week. I am very conscious of the awful plague that has us locked down and how stressful this is for many people. My prayer is that all of you

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Posted in fear of failure
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Our self-esteem must come from our qualities not our achievements

The word locus seems to be liked by psychologists. Carl Rogers uses the term an external locus of self-evaluation, which means that your self-esteem is based on external factors such as your work, wealth or some other factor that you value. Without question, those who have an external locus of

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Posted in The saboteur
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We must feel in control of our lives and it must be based on our intrinsic qualities not on external factors which can vanish

I do not advise self-help books, but you can get many useful books which will help you make sense of your life. A book you might like to read to help heal your perfectionistic tendencies is The Green Platform. This was written by Declan Coyle, who was fortunate enough to

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Posted in incompetence
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Perfectionism can lead to other psychological complaints.

Since perfectionism is bred from an insecure attachment it will be accompanied by other issues outlined as follows – Fear of abandonment – fear of failure – social fear – toxic jealousy – envy – toxic anger/rage – depression – anxiety – panic attacks – controlling impulse – internal unease

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Posted in perfectionism, perfectionism
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Keeping a diary is a great way to manage emotional/psychological issues

Antony and Swinson (2009) detail many strategies and exercises for dealing with pathological (unhealthy) meticulousness. Their initial advice is to assess the seriousness of the perfectionism. You can do this by checking for the main areas where the problem arises. From preceding chapters you will have guessed that the most

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Posted in perfectionism
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The constant need for approval is crippling. It comes from parental lack of affection for the child

The need for approval is a deep and hurtful wound from childhood. I was driven by the need for approval. As a Principal, I needed approval from the students, the staff, the parents, the Board of Management, the Department of Education, the townspeople and the trustees! And my perfectionism was

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Posted in Uncategorized
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The need for approval is a painful wound from childhood and prevents us being truly happy

In the last blog we have been looking at perfectionism. The subconscious desire to be good enough is a parallel, but connected, treadmill to perfectionism promoting fear of failure. It has many roots, and the behaviour is a never ending drive to please others. The greater your fear of failure

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Posted in Uncategorized
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Perfectionism is often misunderstood.

There is an ironic component of incompetency that you also need to be aware of, which has been well addressed in the literature. Since this secret world harbours a deep sense of shame, it also brings the curse of pathological perfectionism. Research shows that a high level of perfectionism is

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Posted in Uncategorized
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A feeling of incompetence can lead to the controlling impulse

We have been looking at incompetence in the last blog. Unfortunately, it has been shown that feeling incompetent is one of the drivers for power and control, the basis for bullying. As the carrier of shame and a feeling of defectiveness, it drives the human to present a capable front

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Posted in incompetence
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Incompetence is crippling and is an adjunct of fear of failure

If you suffer from a fear of failure, an exploration of your childhood role in the family might point to another root. Sometimes there is a natural order in these roles. Generally speaking, every member of a family has particular roles. The eldest child is normally the star or the

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Posted in incompetence
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