Complicated grief is generally dealt with in counselling, where the complicating factor is first resolved before the grieving can take place. Complicated grief is sometimes called pathological grief, unresolved grief, chronic grief, delayed grief, or exaggerated grief. It has been described as too little grieving immediately after death, or too much grieving long afterwards. It is as if the grief filters become clogged, preventing normal grieving.Some bereavement writers see normal grieving as arising from three sources (1) a poor relationship with the deceased, (2) the vulnerability of the survivor, (3) very difficult circumstances surrounding the death. The crucial factors in deciding if grief is complicated are intensity and duration rather than the painful symptoms of grief. These vary from mourner to mourner. We can look at complicated grief as chronic, delayed, exaggerated, and masked. Chronic grief is one of excessive duration, which is never satisfactorily resolved. The bereaved is aware of the unfinished business, but cannot get back to living.Delayed grief reaction stems from an insufficient emotional reaction at the time of the loss. It is a defence mechanism in the face of awful pain. How often have we heard someone say ‘so and so is taking the death really well’. Not so. In such cases the grief is carried over, and results in excessive reaction to some future loss. Exaggerated grief reactions occur when the bereaved is overwhelmed with pain. Clinical depression is one of the signs of exaggerated grief, and I suffered from this following the death of my child.
Tags: bereavement, grief