In terms of gender, there is evidence that women grieve differently to men. This can often cause tension and misunderstanding in a house where different members of a family are at different stages of grieving. In Western society men tend to suppress their feelings more than women, with the important exception of expressing anger. There is also the cultural context, and in countries with many ethcic groups and cultures there is an even greater diversity of grieving.
Religion is part of culture, and the use of ritual is important. In Ireland funerals are well attended, especially in rural areas, and this can be a great help to the bereaved. The funeral mass can have a powerful effect upon the bereaved, and I recall how vivid the words ‘angels of the Lord take him into paradise’ were. They rang in my ears, and somehow sharpened my sorrow, and made me confront the reality of my loss.
I realise that I have merely touched upon all the factors that influence how we grieve. Some of these can be helpful to some people and some can hinder the grieving process. A strong religious belief, for example, can be of great help, but for those who have a strong conviction of a punitive God, and the existence of Hell, it can add to their pain if the deceased had not lived what they consider a good life.
Tags: bereavement, grief