I am trying to keep two topics going at the same time, grief and shame. Very different, but both very personal to me. I hope you will join with me in exploring them. It is important to understand the difference between healthy shame and guilt. Shame reminds us of our personal shortcomings, and guilt reminds us of our transgressions.
Healthy shame is of great value to us as human beings. it is part of our conscience, our recognition of doing good and avoiding hurting others. It reminds us that we are imperfect, but it is not so overpowering that we are unable to accept our human imperfections. It promotes humanity, understanding, and humility. It is also a temporary state, and is not embedded in our core, as toxic shame is. as with the feelings associated with grief, we should also see healthy shame as our friend, who leads us to self-awareness, and thus helps us to form better relationships. Unlike toxic shame, it leads us to connect with others. Talk to you next Monday.