Fear is now seen as one of the prominent emotions experienced by the foetus. Modern research also suggests that an anxious child has a larger amygdala (fear centre) than others, and while this does appear to be true of prenates, increased cortisol (stress hormone) in the mother also affects the
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Memories for children in the womb are encoded in their cells
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Jim
The foetus is unprotected from external negative stimuli, such as any traumatic event or experience to which the mother is exposed. When we realise that constant rowing between parents is as traumatic for a child as a serious road accident or a natural disaster for an adult, how much more
A child’s empathy can be destroyed if the child is not nurtured
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Jim
Anne Thurston, Associate Professor in John Hopkins University and Director of the Grassroots China Initiative, visited a Chinese orphanage in the 1990s and found the children there lying silent, withdrawn and immobile. She gives a chilling description of the orphanage and of the ‘dying’ room attached to it. The child
Some of the symptoms shown by a young child separated from a parent
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Jim
Psychiatrists have specific benchmarks in diagnosing the child’s anxiety when they are separated from their parents (called attachment figures in psychological terminology). When three or more of the following criteria (at the time of writing) are present (plus some other conditions) they label it as a ‘disorder’ – 1. Recurrent
The concept of separation is closely related to attachment
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Jim
While numbing or repression as an automatic defence mechanism is necessary for the child’s emotional survival, it is counterproductive in adulthood rendering the adult unamenable to healthy emotional contact. Many relationships have foundered on the rock of this ‘coldness’. It is very understandable that an adult may wish to avoid
Adults also have insecure attachment types
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Jim
Some adults who have suffered such distress as a child often say they feel they were adopted. How sad is that! It should be mentioned that adults have corresponding attachment or personality types, which are labelled secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant and fearful-avoidant. Research shows that about 40% of adults have insecure
A child’s behaviour can show symptoms of an insecure attachment
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Jim
Attachment types can be seen in a child’s behaviour. Some years ago RTE Television presented a programme on attachment involving a large group of children, who were scrutinised by a psychologist, where the type of attachment of each child was clearly evident. Bowlby divided attachment into three types, secure, fearful
Attachment is crucial in the development of the human
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Jim
The late John Bowlby, one time Director of the children’s department at the Tavistock Clinic, was one of the first to look at fear of abandonment in detail. He proposed the theory of attachment, already briefly mentioned, as a fundamental part of child development. It is underlies fear and all
Fear of abandonment makes it difficult to properly separate from what is familiar
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Jim
The quality of the poem (quoted in the last blog), art or piece of writing is irrelevant. What is important is how you can see your shame, reject it, and find some element of control over it. There is nothing more effective in stifling your creativity and willingness to learn
Shame is burning and enters your soul
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Jim
Shame is discussed at length in this book. If you become shame based from the behaviour of a shamed parent, you will be burned by criticism and take everything personally. When I was about thirteen I began to feel its burning touch. At that age I had no idea what
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