Yearning is also accompanied by sadness. I consider sadness to be a beautiful feeling. It is the very essence of our loving humanity. It is the spirit of our vulnerability. We were sad for some years, and it has existed to the present day whenever we think of Cathal. It
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premonitions are common
Posted in Bereavement Grief and Loss, Complicated Grief, Death of a Child
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
guilt can appear logical and yet rest upon irrational foundations
Should I have gone for a drive each Sunday so that Cathal would always be out of harm’s way? Should I have forbidden him his bicycle, so that he would be safer? Guilt can rest on ridiculous foundations and yet appear logical, but it is an immensely powerful feeling, and
Posted in Bereavement Grief and Loss, Complicated Grief, Death of a Child
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
Our family is a very tiny vantage point from which to study irrational guilt
But in the context of bereavement it is often necessary to challenge our feeling of guilt. Bereaved people often torture themselves with unhealthy, irrational and self-destructive guilt based on faulty thinking. It can be seen as part of unfinished business, and may need therapy to bring closure. When closure has
guilt
Generally, bereaved people experience anger, except in the case of a liberating loss. A liberating loss is where the survivor feels relief at the death. This can occur if the deceased had been extremely ill and in great pain. It can also occur if the relationship with the deceased was
Posted in Bereavement Grief and Loss, Complicated Grief, Death of a Child
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
unhealthy to bury our feelings
Along with shock and disbelief, anger and rage soon made their powerful presence felt among us. Anger and rage are primitive feelings and cannot be subdued. The unfortunate person who manages to subdue them will suffer long-term depression and occasional outbursts of rage. Some of my clients call this a
Posted in Bereavement Grief and Loss, Complicated Grief, Death of a Child
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
our whole world collapsed
While feelings, thoughts, behaviours and physical sensations are part of the grieving process, I believe that allowing feelings and emotions is the crucial aspect of successful grieving. Because of the importance of this, I will briefly reiterate some of the feelings that we experienced. The initial one was shock. This
Posted in Bereavement Grief and Loss, Complicated Grief, Death of a Child
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
grieving involves thoughts, feelings, behaviours and body sensations
While complicated grief and PTSD were the two major diagnoses afflicting our family, making our grieving severe and long drawn out, the pattern of what we endured within those diagnoses falls within the normal plight of those struggling with loss. Bereavement psychologists tell us that grieving involves a wide range
Posted in Bereavement Grief and Loss, Complicated Grief, Death of a Child
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
post traumatic stress in our family
The symptoms of PTSD are very recognisable in the accounts of our family. These symptoms are clearly defined, and the sufferer does not have to exhibit all of them to be diagnosed with this disorder. They include living in a nightmarish world, feeling detached, sleep abnormalities, feeling terrified, depression, loss
a normal reaction to an abnormal situation
Overall, it is now clear to me that we suffered two major debilitating bereavement symptoms – Complicated Grief and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Understanding these is important for those suffering severe bereavement. Complicated Grief is also known as pathological grief, unresolved grief, chronic grief, delayed grief, or exaggerated grief. It has
Posted in Bereavement Grief and Loss, Complicated Grief, Death of a Child
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
I see a family in chaos
I think that after going through the experience of grieving, and reaching some kind of acceptance, it is also good to normalise what happened. The death of a child is not normal, but it is important for others to see that the feelings endured are normal in the context of
Posted in Bereavement Grief and Loss, Complicated Grief, Death of a Child
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief
Tags: bereavement, Death of a Child, grief