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There are nine types of intelligence and we all have our own unique creativity

Before I begin this blog, I would like to send my best wishes to all those people, who read it every week. I am very conscious of the awful plague that has us locked down and how stressful this is for many people. My prayer is that all of you

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We must feel in control of our lives and it must be based on our intrinsic qualities not on external factors which can vanish

I do not advise self-help books, but you can get many useful books which will help you make sense of your life. A book you might like to read to help heal your perfectionistic tendencies is The Green Platform. This was written by Declan Coyle, who was fortunate enough to

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Keeping a diary is a great way to manage emotional/psychological issues

Antony and Swinson (2009) detail many strategies and exercises for dealing with pathological (unhealthy) meticulousness. Their initial advice is to assess the seriousness of the perfectionism. You can do this by checking for the main areas where the problem arises. From preceding chapters you will have guessed that the most

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A feeling of incompetence can lead to the controlling impulse

We have been looking at incompetence in the last blog. Unfortunately, it has been shown that feeling incompetent is one of the drivers for power and control, the basis for bullying. As the carrier of shame and a feeling of defectiveness, it drives the human to present a capable front

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Incompetence is crippling and is an adjunct of fear of failure

If you suffer from a fear of failure, an exploration of your childhood role in the family might point to another root. Sometimes there is a natural order in these roles. Generally speaking, every member of a family has particular roles. The eldest child is normally the star or the

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Teachers should ensure that their students are thoroughly instructed to ensure a feeling of competency in later life

Since parents are responsible for their children’s formation, including educational development, there is a lesson to be learned from the discussion in the last blog to ensure that the direction need is met. Most children must develop slowly in terms of learning, otherwise there is always a sense of unfinished

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A feeling of incompetency pervades our thinking and behaviour

If you are not shown how to do things you may feel defective and a fraud, even if your achievements are noteworthy. The uninformed inner child binds you and you become afraid of change, avoiding new opportunities to enrich and give more meaning to your life. Petrúska Clarkson, who writes

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If our dependency needs are not met, in adult life our inner child is crippled by fear

Jason continues his story about his crippling anxiety The course started and, unfortunately, old habits started to rear their head again when preparatory course assignments started. I started to skip some of the work that we were to do, and contributed nothing. I was lucky that the workload was small

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Jason’s fear of failure was utterly debilitating

If we examine the fear of failure that Jason, the case study in the book, harboured, you will see that his was paralysing. Unlike my fear, it was evident and palpable and clearly in his awareness as he prepared for two interviews in preparation for his professional training. He found

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People with fear of failure do not like unfamiliarity.

One of the links between both the incidents referred to in the last blog was novelty and unfamiliarity. They were both situations that I had never experienced before, and in that connection fear of failure can be linked to social fear and toxic shame. But, there are also other lessons

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