Your black and white thinking and sense of entitlement are powerful obstacles to dealing with jealousy. It is important to put this black and white thinking under the microscope and see the fear of being hurt preventing you from reaching out for help. But, you are hurt from childhood, and
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Couple counselling will not work if one partner is controlling and has toxic jealousy
Communication is the key to a good relationship and couple counselling can help to resolve that issue, although, unfortunately, it will not work if one of the partners is controlling. That is my experience, and I have never seen an exception to it. Individual counselling is essential to ensure that
Toxic or core jealousy comes from an insecure attachment to a parent, ie it is an attachment issue.
What do you do if you want to rid yourself of Toxic Jealousy? Understanding fear of abandonment and attachment issues is fundamental to dealing with jealousy. You need to know the roots of this painful condition, why you feel inferior and why you see others as superior to you. You
Separtion anxiety and jealousy are not the same.
Jealousy can also be a symptom of Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder (ASAD). Research shows that about one third of children who suffer from separation anxiety as a disorder go on to be afflicted by it in adulthood. This means that in two thirds of cases it is developed in adulthood.
Possessiveness keeps a partner isolated
Possessiveness is an obsessional behaviour, and is about isolation and keeping a partner solely for yourself from as many people as possible. The victim is always deliberately isolated whether through violence or through other controlling means, and frequently submits for the sake of safety or a quiet life. Initially the
A jealous person possesses and attaches but does not love
It is appalling to think that the jealous person is not capable of properly loving another, but more of attaching to them. This always shocks those who hear it, partly because they are unaware of the internal conflicts of the jealous person. Love is difficult to define, but it certainly
The jealous person boils with anger and fear
As with fear of abandonment the cancer of toxic jealousy remains for an entire lifetime, because unlike healthy jealousy it is not just influenced by sex, but by control. If sex was the main cause of the jealousy it might ease with age, but toxic jealousy is equally intense as
Jealousy is crucifying
Irrespective of gender, there is a whole amalgam of other feelings and sensations that accompany toxic jealousy. These include fear, loneliness, bitterness, anger, terror, feeling lost, stomach churning and despair. Many of the symptoms surrounding jealousy are similar to post-traumatic stress – sleeplessness, hypervigilance, irritability and suicidal thinking. It is
toxic or core jealousy is bred in childhood
There is some disagreement among researchers about the triggers that spark jealousy from a gender perspective. Some sociobiologists, such as David Buss, theorise that jealousy is about male anger at the likelihood of losing the prospect to procreate if a female partner threatens to leave, and in his opinion it
Toxic jealousy is difficult to eradicate
Toxic Jealousy is complex and obsessional. Any obsession is consuming. When we are obsessed we cannot interact properly with others and we certainly cannot make any emotional connection with them. It stifles our creativity and our spirituality, kills our souls and fills us with paranoia and depressive thoughts. Obsessional thinking