Masked grief reactions are those where the bereaved is unaware that they are related to the loss. Repressed grief will, however, somehow express itself. This can be as a physical symptom, or some type of maladaptive behaviour. This behaviour may be delinquent behaviour in young people.
One type of death that invariably leads to complicated grief is that of suicide. Bereavement writers hold that it evokes more intense and longer lasting grief than other losses. Suicide leaves the bereaved with a struggle to create meaning from the loss. There was a time when suicides were not buried in consecrated ground, but hopeful such a cultural legacy has now faded from the public mind. It is held by bereavement writers, too, that guilt and perhaps a sense of punishment are felt by survivors following a suicide. Some suicides occur in the context of difficult relationships, and this increases the guilt and anger. This can lead, also, to a feeling of rejection that may be accompanied by anxiety and self-destructive impulses. Other factors, which add to the pain suicide bereavement, are abuse and alcoholism.
While I had complicated grief, I managed to get through it without counselling; (my wife and I had two sessions). This is not always possible, and I would encourage anyone who feels that they are stuck in grief to get some counselling. Such counselling may not take very long, but will release the survivor from being stuck, and allow them to move to experiencing their grief. I will look at the death of a child in the next post.
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