Failure in the context of fear is not what it seems to those who are fortunate to have had a secure attachment to parents and, therefore, are blessed with high self-esteem. They see it as no more than negative circumstances from which they learn and move on. It is a well-worn cliché, but nevertheless true, that we learn by mistakes. But in the context of fear, making mistakes or so-called failing creates a secret world of negativity, self-hatred and shame, to a greater or lesser degree. Fear of failure is a chronic core condition that permeates many aspects of your life and sometimes it feels as if the self is a failure. It weakens your resolve to develop yourself and improve your life. It brings on worry about how you interact with others personally and professionally, how you parent, how you learn and how you live. Your fear ceaselessly shadows you and you become very conscious that if you fail, others will think less of you, be disappointed and lose interest. It has also been named as fear of ego-death, which is fear of humiliation and shame whereby your sense of self and identity is threatened, and the sense of self destroyed.
Extract from my recent book – Understanding and Healing the Hurts of Childhood.
THERAPISTS IN TIPPERARY
PSYCHOTHERAPISTS IN TIPPERARY
COUNSELLING TIPPERARY
DEATH OF A CHILD
ABUSE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
FEAR
ANGER
JEALOUSY
SHAME