If you cannot access normal anger you can’t defend yourself.

we can argue that anger is a protection mechanism. It can protect us from being exploited or harmed. Marcia Cannon, in her book, The Gift of Anger describes it as a power boost that enables us to stand up for ourselves in certain situations where we are in danger, to be assertive and to achieve our goals. She sets a short exercise, which will help you to see appropriate anger as a power boost in your life. So if you can think of a time when you were moderately angry, examine it, write it down and think about what caused you to be angry. Did the power boost you experienced help you to take a stand, to use your boundaries, to do something? How did that feel when it was over? Did you feel your courage rise? Did you feel yourself becoming more determined? Did you feel better about yourself? Did your anger get you what you were looking for? If not what happened? Mike Fisher, who has written several books on anger, also examines it as a positive force which alerts others that we are serious in what we say. He points out that anger facilitates getting things done quickly and gives us a feeling of power and control in our own lives (not over others). Healthy anger also helps us combat fear and depression. The motto better be mad than sad has a lot of merit. Fisher also makes the valid point that healthy anger helps us leave abusive situations and relieve our frustrations.
Situational anger arises from incidents that provoke our resentment. It is a response to a particular situation. So, for example, if somebody disrespects you it is highly likely that you will feel angry. Linda Andrews, a writer on health and psychological issues from Albuquerque in New Mexico, reveals that 1.7 million people are assaulted in the workplace in the United States each year. Some of this is a reaction to a stressful situation, and there is probably a great reservoir of anger among people caught in a deadly daily grind of cut-throat competition. We hear about employees being driven to the detriment of their family life, mergers or takeovers, unrealistic targets, bullying behaviour, lack of security of tenure, and the absence of loyalty by either company or employee. Being used and abused is a strong breeding ground for anger.
Extract from Understanding and Healing the Hurts of Childhood. Publication 2018
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