Essentially, therefore, social fear is about oversensitivity of being judged, criticized or rejected by others; being acutely self-conscious and feeling embarrassed or humiliated. Barbara Markway, a psychologist in Jefferson City and an expert on social fear, makes the interesting point that people with social fear not only dread disapproval, but exaggerate the threat of criticism. Negative thinking, therefore, always tends towards exaggeration and the expectation of blame. It is allied to catastrophization (catastrophic thinking), a term coined by Aaron Beck, one of the founders of cognitive therapy.
This mindset means that even before you meet a group of strangers or attend a social occasion you are already internally embarrassed and crippled by your own negative self-appraisal. You sabotage yourself and are defeated before you set out. Social fear is all about yourself with an intense and paralysing internal focus and hypersensitivity to anticipated scrutiny by others. You imagine that they can see the false self with all its imperfections of shame, anger, low self-esteem and, above all, being boring. Almost every person I have met with social fear felt they were boring and uninteresting in the company of other people. The focus also shifts to physical manifestations of fear and anxiety, sometimes including sweating, blushing and stammering. Thinking about them is a trigger that will bring them on. All those defects that were planted in you during your childhood stand starkly in your mind, and this brainwashing paralyses you in many aspects of your life, and especially when interacting with others. It is about not being comfortable in your skin, ruminating about letting yourself down in front of others and being oversensitive about yourself.
Extract from my recent book – Understanding and Healing the Hurts of Childhood.
THERAPISTS IN TIPPERARY
PSYCHOTHERAPISTS IN TIPPERARY
COUNSELLING TIPPERARY
DEATH OF A CHILD
ABUSE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
FEAR
ANGER
JEALOUSY
SHAME
I am the author of six books
When a Child Dies. Footsteps of a Grieving Family
Abuse. Domestic Violence, Workplace and School Bullying
Understanding and Healing the Hurts of Childhood.
I’ll Meet You at the Roundy O
Priest, Politics and Society in Post Famine Ireland 1850-1891
Prince of Swindlers. John Sadleir MP 1813-1856
I am currently writing a major work on DID (Multiple Personality Disorder)
