I have been in hospital for surgery and missed doing my last blog. so it is nice to be back in contact with you and I hope all my readers are keeping well. As you are aware, my blog on abuse consists of extracts from my book on abuse. Abuse
I have been in hospital for surgery and missed doing my last blog. so it is nice to be back in contact with you and I hope all my readers are keeping well. As you are aware, my blog on abuse consists of extracts from my book on abuse. Abuse
I hope that this blog has given you a better understanding of abuse. It is an emotionally difficult behaviour to explore. Some of this behaviour is ghastly, and has a devastating impact on victims. Nonetheless, however difficult an abusive situation seems to be, however despairing your frame of mind, even
I believe, however, that the urge to control never leaves, although it greatly lessens. Therefore, to prevent this, you must always be keenly aware of your need to control. When you have completed therapy, your ways of controlling can become more subtle. You will know that control is the basis
As you slowly and painfully increase your understanding of what makes you abusive and how you control, you can begin your journey of making some amends to your victims. This means taking full responsibility for your abuse. No excuses! No minimisation! It was wrong. It hurt others. It was deliberate.
Counselling, of course, is expensive and you may not be able to afford private counselling, but you can avail of free mental health counselling services under the aegis of the HSE, which will also help you deal with any mental health problems as well. Addiction counselling services are provided through
GROW is another worthwhile organisation where you can find support. It is a voluntary movement and does not have waiting lists. It, too, has branches all over Ireland, and, like AWARE, its main activity is the establishment of group meetings where any mental issues can be explored, and where the
One of the principal aspects preventing rehabilitation, and possibly forgiveness, is the presence of rage and anger. This anger is justified and must be vented, but, for the sake of our mental health, we must eventually let it go. Some of the techniques mentioned might help, but developing self-empathy is
Distress is also caused by some abusive partners manipulating the legal process as a means of control over the survivor. Some make excuses to postpone court hearings as a way to control. At one stage, Linda worried that Stephen would use his absence from Ireland as a means of delaying
As you work your way through your losses, you may also be engaging in the process of legal separation, and counselling will help you make that sometimes long and painful journey. But, despite the reservations already made about the legal process, you will require the assistance of a good family
There are many relaxation techniques that you might find useful in your repertoire of self-care. These include breathing exercises, stretching, meditation, yoga, guided meditation, mindfulness, prayer, listening to quiet music, and walking in a rural area. I often suggest to distressed people to create a personal space, where they can