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A jealousy diary is a good way to understand your jealous tendencies and to control them.

Having thought long and seriously, begin a written jealousy history going back as far as you can and writing down as many details as possible. Then keep a jealousy diary which will give you some power over this distressing sensation. In the diary write down the behaviours involved in the

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Toxic or core jealousy is a major emotional issue that torments

Sometimes, we can be carried along by a powerful, destructive emotion, so try and take some time out to think about it. Sit in a quiet place, and think long and seriously about your irrational jealousy, how it controls your happiness and your life, how it destroys your friendships and

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Blaming others is projection for your own behaviours. You must take responsibility for your behaviours

Your black and white thinking and sense of entitlement are powerful obstacles to dealing with jealousy. It is important to put this black and white thinking under the microscope and see the fear of being hurt preventing you from reaching out for help. But, you are hurt from childhood, and

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Couple counselling will not work if one partner is controlling and has toxic jealousy

Communication is the key to a good relationship and couple counselling can help to resolve that issue, although, unfortunately, it will not work if one of the partners is controlling. That is my experience, and I have never seen an exception to it. Individual counselling is essential to ensure that

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Toxic or core jealousy comes from an insecure attachment to a parent, ie it is an attachment issue.

What do you do if you want to rid yourself of Toxic Jealousy? Understanding fear of abandonment and attachment issues is fundamental to dealing with jealousy. You need to know the roots of this painful condition, why you feel inferior and why you see others as superior to you. You

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Separtion anxiety and jealousy are not the same.

Jealousy can also be a symptom of Adult Separation Anxiety Disorder (ASAD). Research shows that about one third of children who suffer from separation anxiety as a disorder go on to be afflicted by it in adulthood. This means that in two thirds of cases it is developed in adulthood.

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Possessiveness keeps a partner isolated

Possessiveness is an obsessional behaviour, and is about isolation and keeping a partner solely for yourself from as many people as possible. The victim is always deliberately isolated whether through violence or through other controlling means, and frequently submits for the sake of safety or a quiet life. Initially the

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A jealous person possesses and attaches but does not love

It is appalling to think that the jealous person is not capable of properly loving another, but more of attaching to them. This always shocks those who hear it, partly because they are unaware of the internal conflicts of the jealous person. Love is difficult to define, but it certainly

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The jealous person boils with anger and fear

As with fear of abandonment the cancer of toxic jealousy remains for an entire lifetime, because unlike healthy jealousy it is not just influenced by sex, but by control. If sex was the main cause of the jealousy it might ease with age, but toxic jealousy is equally intense as

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Jealousy is crucifying

Irrespective of gender, there is a whole amalgam of other feelings and sensations that accompany toxic jealousy. These include fear, loneliness, bitterness, anger, terror, feeling lost, stomach churning and despair. Many of the symptoms surrounding jealousy are similar to post-traumatic stress – sleeplessness, hypervigilance, irritability and suicidal thinking. It is

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