Despite the outpouring of rage and shame, all controlling people have a low sense of self-esteem and self-worth, and being in control brings a sense of safety. Controllers feel like victims, and may have been one, so sometimes they carry out the abuse as a way of retribution or revenge.
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controllers have a Jekyll and Hyde personality. They are street angels and house devils.
If your self-esteem is low, if you have brought feelings of abandonment from childhood, and if you feel not good enough, that person’s initial attention will make you feel wanted, flattered and fortunate. It is easy to be disarmed in those early stages by charm. Controlling people often try to