Mark Brandenburg offers good advice on how to protect our children from our shame. He advises us to know our history of shame, and how it may be triggered by our children. Being on guard for these triggers helps us to avoid responding to them. Be aware of your child’s
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Toxic Shame. Prevention is better than the cure (part 2)
Children can be quite aggressive. This aggression is an inbuilt human condition, which may be called upon in later life, for example, to defend oneself. It is important for the parent not to feel threatened by their child’s aggressive impulses. This does not mean that they are encouraging aggression,
UNHEALTHY SHAME
Lynn Namka outlines other characteristics based on fear within the shamed person. People who are toxically shamed try to hide. They are crucified by fear of self-exposure in such areas as sexual feelings and actions, aggressive behaviour that is against public standards, issues around bathroom functions, body odours and cleanliness.
CHARACTERISTICS OF SHAME BASED PEOPLE (CONTD.)
Rage. Some people suppress the rage that stems from being shamed to the core. This can easily turn to depression. Shame contaminates all feelings, except rage. Rage is the most powerful of all feelings. Rage is internalised and makes the person bitter, sarcastic, and negative. If the raging person has
CHARACTERISTICS OF SHAME BASED PEOPLE
shame based people have many undesirable characteristis, which are a burden to them, and very damaging in a relationship. Perfectionism is a heavy burden. Bradshaw says that it comes from expectations by parents from their children whereby they are only valued for doing. That may be true, but that is
UNHEALTHY SHAME
Because core shame takes place at a very young age, before the child has formed any boundaries, and results in a loss of self-trust, the adult lacks judgement. How often have I heard clients say that they don’t understand why they have made stupid decisions. Such distrust of his basic
unhealthy shame
Another characteristic of the shame-based person may be abusiveness. Abuse breeds shame. Abuse is learned as a child, and the person who has been abused may go on to abuse others, – (at least the tendency may be there). Of course many people who have been shamed by abuse do
unhealthy shame
At any rate, let us very briefly look at what the literature says about some of the characteristics of the shamed person. One of the characteristics explored is grandiosity, which can be a delusional disorder, or simply a boastful individual who imagines that he is more important and has more
TOXIC SHAME
The characteristics of shame-based people. I suppose this post could also be called ‘what shame does to the person. It has been shown in the previously that these characteristics are rooted in us by one or both shame based parents. My own experience was having a negative frame of mind
unhealthy shame
Parents who suffer shame, spew it onto their children. They find it difficult to release their children and hold them for as long as possible. These Children lose their identity and imbibe their parents sense of core shame. these parents decide in all cases what is right and what is