Sometimes, we can be carried along by a powerful, destructive emotion, so try and take some time out to think about it. Sit in a quiet place, and think long and seriously about your irrational jealousy, how it controls your happiness and your life, how it destroys your friendships and damages your relationship. Realise that jealousy is a major emotional problem controlling you, just as you try to control your partner. Ask yourself some hard questions. Do you want to spend the rest of your life having frequent sleepless nights, nurturing negative and irrational thoughts, living in a negative fantasy world, experiencing stomach churning sensations? Realise that pathological jealousy is a burden and it will remain with you all of your life, if you don’t do something about it. Consider that your relationship may eventually break down and you will be left alone. Realise that your jealousy will rear its ugly head in almost every aspect of your intimate relationships and you will never be happy or make your partner happy. Look back at all the times that you have been eaten by jealousy. Where has it got you? What has it achieved, apart from misery? This awareness is the beginning of your journey for you to do something about this affliction. If you are a controlling person, patience is not one of your virtues, and endurance is difficult for you. But, if you wish to shed this burden you will have to be patient and to endure. Unfortunately, it may take the shock of your partner leaving you, to spur you to seek help. That is my experience as a counsellor.
Extract from my recent book – Understanding and Healing the Hurts of Childhood.
THERAPISTS IN TIPPERARY
PSYCHOTHERAPISTS IN TIPPERARY
COUNSELLING TIPPERARY
DEATH OF A CHILD
ABUSE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
FEAR
ANGER
JEALOUSY
SHAME
