toxic shame

Mark Brandenburg offers good advice on how to protect our children from our shame. He advises us to know our history of shame, and how it may be triggered by our children. Being on guard for these triggers helps us to avoid responding to them. Be aware of your child’s reaction to shame, and reconnect as quickly as possible with him or her, because your children want a loving relationship with you. Be patient in this, because your child may feel hurt and be unwilling to immediately engage with you.   Explain what shaming is to them and this will help them process what has happened to them. If you find yourself shaming your child, don’t beat yourself up. See yourself as human and imperfect, and as a person who is entitled to kindness from yourself.