unhealthy shame

In a sense, this sums up much of the work that needs to be done to confront toxic shame. It gives no idea of how painful it is, however. Let us now look at what the literature says about healing toxic shame.

Bradshaw is probably the best source on this. He tells us that the first step is to confront our toxic shame, because it thrives on secrecy. Confronting it also means sharing our feelings with others, and finding someone who will love us unconditionally, even if, at the beginning, we do not believe that this is possible. Counselling offers an excellent and safe location to further externalise the shame by exploring it, using art work and writing about it. This involves recalling as many shaming events as possible, naming them, and allowing our feelings about them to emerge.