when a child dies – available from Veritas or Amazon

If any proof is needed that one heals, then this book is that

proof. I, who at one time wondered how I would survive even

an hour, can now write in detail about what happened

eighteen years ago. This little work is proof that time does indeed heal. This healing preserves memories and integrates all the feelings of grief once experienced as trauma, but now as sadness.

 There are certain aspects not covered here. It does not

examine the pain and anguish inflicted on Cathal’s aunts and

uncles (Mary’s brothers and sisters), who were so supportive

to us in the years following his death. Neither does it look at

the devastation caused to Cathal’s friends, who not only saw

him snatched by death, but saw their own mortality so cruelly

exposed. It does not deal with the impact on his grandparents. All of these felt the great pain of loss. Their own suffering has in a sense gone unrecognised. I wish to recognise and acknowledge it here in this brief reference; and I would hope that someone may in the future write about how the wider family copes with the loss of a beloved relative. Their feelings also need to be validated.