When a child dies. Footsteps of a grieving family. available from Veritas or Amazon

I hope, too, that it will validate the grief feelings, thoughts

and behaviours of parents. Parents will always carry the

memory of their child in their hearts. That child will be

present at all major family occasions and anniversaries. Tears

will be shed, thoughts perhaps unspoken. But, peace and

happiness will also be present, if, of course, the painful course

of grief has been trodden, if the feelings of grief – shock,

anger, loneliness, depression, sadness, guilt, self-reproach,

helplessness, yearning – have been honoured, and perhaps

challenged in the case of guilt or self-reproach. If these

feelings are allowed, then the final stage of acceptance of

some kind will come. That is the basic lesson of this book.

But, how difficult it is to live in this pain! It is no wonder that

many parents and siblings try to avoid it. Avoiding the pain

of loss, however, simply prolongs the grieving, and is either

like a psychological time bomb waiting to explode or a heavy

cloud driving us into depression.