What do you do if you want to rid yourself of Toxic Jealousy?
Understanding fear of abandonment and attachment issues is fundamental to dealing with jealousy. You need to know the roots of this painful condition, why you feel inferior and why you see others as superior to you. You need to realise that it comes from an early feeling of not experiencing love and a failure by a parent of making an emotional bond through meeting your dependency needs. Any individual who feels bonded to a parent will never experience toxic jealousy in adulthood. It is not possible. Further this tormenting body sensation that is jealousy can manifest itself as a host of other negative feelings such as anger, fear, anxiety, sadness, rage, and shame.
Since jealousy is a major controlling mechanism it is not possible to understand it, unless you understand the concept of control and the controlling personality. You must lay bare that personality by understanding its traits and realise that the narcissistic creation is just a show, and behind all the bluster is a vulnerable child struggling in adult shoes. That is not an easy thing to do, because narcissism is a failure to recognise your personal deficiencies and a tendency to blame your partner. Failure to do so, however, may allow a period of control, but ultimately will destroy your relationship and leave you struggling with chronic loneliness.
When you understand the controlling personality, looking at the different theories of jealousy will bring you further along the road to healing it, but it is very difficult, if not impossible, to heal it on your own. It is likely you will need a therapist to help you to make sense of your childhood and find the roots of toxic jealousy.
Extract from my recent book – Understanding and Healing the Hurts of Childhood.
THERAPISTS IN TIPPERARY
PSYCHOTHERAPISTS IN TIPPERARY
DEATH OF A CHILD
ABUSE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE