Many victims leave when they begin to see the pattern that underpins abuse, and the deliberate campaign to undermine and control becomes apparent. One of my clients compared it to a jigsaw. When the jigsaw is fragmented victims are lost in confusion, but as the pieces are assembled, they become
Monthly Archives: April 2017
Children should never be left in an environment where one parent abuses the other
If there are children in an abusive household, I believe that it is imperative to leave. Some people, including some researchers, feel that it is best to leave children in an abusive parental relationship, than suffer the trauma of leaving and losing a parent. I do not agree with this
Children should not be exposed to abuse in any household
While recognising why people remain in abusive relationships, I consider it unethical as a counsellor to support them over a long period in such a relationship. The role of the counsellor is for the well-being of his clients, and I think it is wrong to collude with them in remaining
women can be as abusive as men and deny them access to their children
Many of the factors mentioned in my last blog apply to male victims also. I have seen cases of severe emotional and physical abuse of males, who tell me that they endure it because they love the perpetrator. Men are as conscious of the wellbeing of their children as women
The Jekyl and Hyde nature of the controlling person keeps the other partner in the relationship
Religious beliefs and personal values are very powerful influences in shaping the decision to stay. St Paul did women no favours in his concept of female subservience to men, who may have been conditioned by the Pauline teaching to see themselves as being the authority figures. On the other hand,