Emotional self-care entails being with people you like and enjoy, praising and affirming yourself, playing with children, looking at comedies, and allowing your feelings. Spiritual self-care is about spending time with nature, being open to inspiration, cherishing optimism and hope, meditating, praying, singing, feeling awe, and reading inspirational literature. Her
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Her experience was a long hard journey for Linda
I think that the creative use of a journal is also a powerful psychological aid to self-care. It can be your ‘creative journal’ for your art, poetry, and narrative. I used poetry when I was going through bereavement following the death of my child. You do not have to be
Self-care is vital when you leave an abusive relationship
As well as a safety plan, you should also have an uncomplicated survival/recovery plan. A safety plan means external safety, a survival/recovery plan means having a measure of internal security. When you consider the debilitating effects of abuse, and how you are almost owned by the perpetrators, you probably realise
As a survivor you may suffer harrassment and stalking
One of the most malignant post-separation control methods is stalking and harassing the survivor. Stalking is illegal in most developed countries, and is a pattern of behaviour with intent to instil fear. It often goes on for several years and it can demoralise you and make your life a misery.
There are different ways to keep you safe when you leave an abusive relationship
Linda was fortunate in that she had never lost contact with her parents. Her father was particularly supportive “My father came to me one day, and said that he had got an interview for me with his colleague in my hometown, if I was interested. I look back now and
You will meet the challenges of separating from an abusive partner.
Initially you needed to create a safety plan to make the world a more secure place. Previously you lived in an unsafe place, and now you bring about a physical and psychological distance from the abuser, to reclaim yourself, regain your power and identity, and dispel the confusion created by
You will recover and build a new life if you leave an abusive situation
Despite the trepidation, the questions and the fear that you feel, you will survive the abuse, recover and re-experience independence, happiness and peace. Part of our work as humans is to integrate our suffering, as we strive for happiness. We have the capacity, irrespective of apparently insurmountable obstacles, to create
What happens after leaving an abusive relationship?
Take my hands, my children, And look into the sun, We will create our world, Unwatched and unfettered. The light shines through the trees, As they green in time of spring. I see the summer in your eyes, Clouded by the storms of winter. The winter clouds view the horizon,
Posted in abuse, Leaving an abusive situation
You sometimes lose ‘friends’ when your marriage breaks down
Buying a mobile (cell) phone to maintain contact is also important. This will allow you to communicate with relevant people such as your children’s school, the police, neighbours, friends, or any helpful persons. My advice would be not to make such phone contact until you are far away from the
Abuse is like a jigsaw that confuses the victim.
Many victims leave when they begin to see the pattern that underpins abuse, and the deliberate campaign to undermine and control becomes apparent. One of my clients compared it to a jigsaw. When the jigsaw is fragmented victims are lost in confusion, but as the pieces are assembled, they become