While social fear is a silent and invisible saboteur, albeit with obvious anxiety symptoms, the negative thinking that drives it is very often translated into obsession with body image. You are conscious about how you look, blame yourself for these so-called imperfections, and become distracted, while others are oblivious to
Blog Archives
Passive Aggressive Anger
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Jim
It is relatively rare for a person with implosive anger to become explosive, but if they do they can unleash torrents of anger for all the years they have swallowed their rage and turned it in on themselves. Some psychologists tend to label implosive anger as passive aggressive anger and
We cannot help having toxic anger, but it is our responsibility not to vent it on others
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Jim
While we can explain the creation of toxic anger and see it as a burden, we must also realise how harmful it is to those who bear the brunt of it. It is the engine which drives abuse of all kinds -verbal, psychological, physical, sexual, or financial. Abuse may be
The anger of a child turns inward and becomes core to re-emerge in adulthood
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Jim
The human is born with hope, curiosity and love, but when an infant’s dependency needs are not met these turn to ashes, and toxic or core anger is one of the external signs of fear of abandonment. Initially, the faces of angry infants are contorted and crimson as they rage,
Hitler a good example of how a childhood can damage us although it does not excuse how we behave.
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Jim
As you can see from the last blog, many circumstances preventing adequate parenting are simply unavoidable. One of the most familiar cases in my experience is that of having a large family, where parents struggle to find time to meet the needs of their children. Frequently, in such cases clusters
Emotional or soul wounds inflicted in childhood can run from generation to generation.
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Jim
Parental failure to meet dependency needs is, in effect, traumatic for the child, and inflicts what is called an emotional or soul wound, which is too painful to experience. The result in teenage years, especially around the age of sixteen, is a severe lack of concentration in school, where the
We must show an interest in our child and show him or her how to do things.
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Jim
Affection and love needs are obviously closely linked, and all of the dependency needs overlap into a holistic parental behaviour sending out positive messages to your child, which in adult life increases his capacity to give affection and love in the best sense of the word. The third need is
Creating a secure attachment is the most important job a parent has
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Jim
When you consider in the last blog Jason’s sad situation and the issues it bred in him, you might think that his mother would be able to compensate for it. But, that was not the case, showing how vital the father is for the boy in terms of attachment and
The love and attention of fathers’ is vital to male children
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Jim
You have seen how one of Jason’s issues was fear of abandonment, and the following excerpt shows how significant his insecure attachment to his father was, and how it impacted on him, breeding shame, hurt, jealousy, discord, fear, depression, low self-esteem, poor self-confidence, and a stubborn desire for his father’s
An insecure attachment means there is no emotional bond between child and parent in adult life.
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Jim
If a secure attachment is badly disrupted similar problems follow. This can occur, for example, if a caregiver gets depression or is sporadically unwell, or dies. The consequences of this can be serious in terms of the emotional development of the child and many of the psychological and emotional ills
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