helplessness breeds terror

Anxiety is a common feeling associated with loss. It leads
to unease, restlessness and hypersensitivity. I found this one
of the most tormenting of the bereavement feelings. My
senses were hyper-aroused; even the ringing of the phone
rankled on my nerves. I was unable to rest or have peace of
mind. It was accompanied by fatigue. I wanted to rest but was
unable to do so. It was a kind of self-defeating cycle.

My anxiety was accompanied by a feeling of helplessness.
Helplessness is often a feature of grief following the loss of a
spouse. The survivor finds it difficult to comprehend how he
or she will continue following such a loss. In our case it
stemmed from our powerlessness to prevent the death of our
child. This helplessness bred a feeling of pure terror, and
terror is a strong feature of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

All these feelings plus the great sense of loss generally lead
to depression. Depression, that gloomy state where the sun
never shines, where motivation lies listless, where the desire
to stay in bed late and disengage from the world is normal.
Allowing the feelings associated with loss eventually banishes
this debilitating state.

When a Child Dies. Footsteps of a Grieving Family. Published by Veritas

Posted in Bereavement Grief and Loss, Complicated Grief, Death of a Child
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