Social Anxiety is a Huge Obstacle for Third Level Students

Jason, the case study of my book, lost friends due to his fear and avoidance, but resolved to move in with friends from home. He found new excuses to avoid facing the fact that this was now a deep rooted coping mechanism with detrimental results, particularly in attending lectures.
As I knew nobody in college now, I decided the best plan would be to move across city and live with the lads from home. I promised myself that I would get the bus over every day and stay all day. It would work out better, I was convincing myself. I moved in with Rob and Dave. Week one came and went. My routine was going out on Sunday night, when we’d come down home, hungover for Monday, back out drinking on Tuesday night, hungover for Wednesday, Thursday was too late in the week to go to college while Friday was going home time. Each week would roll out the same. I thought of every excuse to avoid college. If I stayed in on Sunday I’d be too tired Monday and then it was going out Tuesday. I fell into a rut and while the lads were attending their college in the mornings, I’d stay in bed until one and get up when they would come home. College became a place I just couldn’t go. A fear would keep me from going. Fear of sitting on my own at the back, fear of being judged by people as a loner. To cope with the fear I avoided people and situations. This would be my means of defence against everything. I even went one day and got as far as the college and went home. For the first semester I went to the college once, to register. I decided I’d give one of the exams a bash and I ended up passing. As I didn’t have notes for the rest, I skipped them. I even hit a new low. The realisation that the good grade I had from the first 3 years would slip away prompted me to go and talk to the college year head. I lied about being badly depressed. I asked them to postpone my exams until the summer. They said they would consider this if I went to counselling sessions. I said I would, but by semester two I had given up on the year and had decided I would repeat it. I tried not to think about what I had done, three years of an English degree wasted. All my parents’ money down the drain. The guilt and the shame was eating me up, so again I ended up going out or doing anything to get my mind off it. I watched as my friends graduated, while I knew people were talking about me failing the year. My mother at this stage was extremely worried that I’d go out for 3 days and not come home. She didn’t push me on it. I think she hoped this was a phase and I would come through it. My father and me would just not talk, full stop.
Extract from my book – Understanding and Healing the Hurts of Childhood.

I am the author of six books
When a Child Dies. Footsteps of a Grieving Family
Abuse. Domestic Violence, Workplace and School Bullying
Understanding and Healing the Hurts of Childhood.
I’ll Meet You at the Roundy O
Priest, Politics and Society in Post Famine Ireland 1850-1891
Prince of Swindlers. John Sadleir MP 1813-1856
I am currently writing a book on DID (Multiple Personality Disorder) which will run to three volumes. Volume 1 should be ready by Summer 2022

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