The only relief I really got was how well Mary seemed to be
coping, although she does not fully agree that she was coping
well. I feel, nevertheless, that she greatly understates her
distress in her journal. She noted how she felt three months
after his death:
I have to say that I don’t feel as desperate as I used to. It
has got a little easier, although it’s still painful. I would
like to mention here things I did to try and heal myself.
I go to town a fair bit. I visit a neighbour a few times a
week. I also joined a voluntary organisation, but only
when I felt ready to do so. I play badminton a lot.
We had very kind friends on our badminton team. They were
a good-humoured lot, and did their best to cheer us up.
Badminton requires a lot of concentration, and this
momentarily diverted us from our sorrow. We were also
aware that one of the women on the badminton team had
lost her brother in a cruel accident five years earlier. She lived
quite near us and was a member of one of the bereaved
families mentioned earlier. We felt that she understood.
Extract from When a Child Dies. Footsteps of a Grieving Family. Published by Veritas